Osteria da Fortunata

I've walked past this place a thousand times thinking "yeah, just another tourist trap." Then I read some ranking about the best Roman restaurants and gave in. Mistake.

They don't take reservations, so you show up early and cross your fingers. Tiny table crammed next to everyone else, people squeezing past you every thirty seconds. The waiters are nice enough, sure, but you can see that urgency to get rid of you—it's obvious how this works.

We ordered two fried appetizers. They arrive while we're already halfway through our pasta. Brilliant timing. The supplì? Mediocre, and cold on the inside to boot. Freezer cold. The fiore di zucca was decent though, at least there's that.

But the main courses were the real disaster. Generous portions, I'll give them that. The amatriciana was passable, except there were two fingers' worth of fat at the bottom that looked more like oil than guanciale lard. Whatever. The cacio e pepe was even worse. No emulsifying, salt levels through the roof, and not creamy at all. It tasted like pasta with pecorino just dumped on top at random.

And the prices? Among the highest in Rome for this kind of stuff. Twenty-eight euros per person for this performance? Not worth it at all.

I knew it would go like this—I should've trusted my gut. If you're after decent carbonara and cacio e pepe in Rome, there are a hundred better places. Leave this one to the tourists who don't know any better.